


Curiosity

by CaitlinOcean



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Veela
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-10-05 00:54:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10293719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaitlinOcean/pseuds/CaitlinOcean
Summary: Curiosity killed the catSatisfaction brought him backDraco Malfoy/OC





	1. The Broom Closet

October 3rd

The bell rang signaling the end of another successful double potions with our pals the Slytherins. Hermione and I filed out of the dungeon behind the other Gryffindors chatting about Snape’s lesson. There was a commotion up ahead and the hallway was packed. Hermione and I instinctively looked for Harry’s messy hair and Ron’s vibrant red head. This time, they were not causing the problem. While I craned my neck to see who was causing the holdup someone bumped into me and pushed a note into my hand. None other than Draco Malfoy recovered from our collision and moved ahead, quickly. I nonchalantly slid my hand into my pocket and looked towards Hermione. She hadn’t noticed. We caught up with the boys and as we came into the entrance hall I said “I’ll see you in class I left something in the dungeons!” I doubled back through the door we just came through and read the note Malfoy had pushed into my hand.

"Meet me upstairs in 10, door to the left of the stairs"

I pride myself on knowing the location of every broom closet in this castle and the door to the left of the stairs is a broom closet. Draco Malfoy wants me to meet him in a broom closet. I typically only meet boys in broom closets for one reason however, I would not say Draco and I are friendly enough for that. I felt myself teetering on the edge of a decision. Go and find out why someone who could be considered an enemy wants me to meet him in a broom closet or leave him standing there among the mops and buckets. Both options had their merits. 

Curiosity killed the cat.

I skipped up the stairs singing a song under my breath and a few seventh year Ravenclaws turned to watch my progress up the stairs with goofy grins on their faces. I laughed to myself as one of the many lessons my mother had taught me this last summer came to mind. I am a part Veela who just turned sixteen. Turning sixteen is special for every girl but, for Veela, sixteen is when her magic really intensifies. Veela magic is like a venomous perfume. It hangs in the air looking for an innocent bystander to attract. My mother had told me that I would be seeing more and more boys with Neanderthal-like looks on their faces and her advice was:

"Boys are annoying don’t even turn around."

As my fifteenth year came to a close and my sixteenth began I changed in many ways. My skin electrified. My lips burned and swelled as my venom came in which made people want to kiss them all the more. I felt out of control. I have always been an impulsive, teasing, flirtatious person but lately that part of my personality was in the driver’s seat. I have never been accused of being a prude but now I was downright promiscuous and my mother had some advice for that as well:

"Wait 24 hours, no matter how much your magic is trying to tell you not to." 

Being a part human is very different than people think. I am blessed (cursed?) with parts of myself and parts of my magic that are NOT HUMAN but, because I look like and identify as a witch I am judged by a set of morals, a code of conduct, I can never live up to. I will always be flirtatious and promiscuous and Merlin it is just so much fun to let loose all this magic and watch men scramble! I want to believe it was my magic that led me up those stairs to meet Draco Malfoy in a broom closet.

I opened the closet door and there he was. On his face was a smile that stretched to his eyes, blue eyes that were taking in every inch of me. No smirk. No sneer. 

“Hi” he said quietly.  
“Hey” I said back.

He confidently wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me firmly against his body. My head titled back and I looked up into his eyes. He held my gaze for a beat and leaned in to kiss me. I shattered into a million pieces. 

One minute, one hour, one day I couldn’t tell you how long I have been in this closet making out with Draco. My mind was a mess and my body was in control. Every inch of my skin was electrified and Draco paused only for a minute to ask if I was shocking him on purpose. His voice was just what I needed to get my magic back under control. I mentally pushed the Veela inside of me who wanted to drive RIGHT NOW back into the passenger seat where she belonged and pulled away from Draco’s kisses. I was dazed and so was he. It was at this point I realized how far things had progressed. Draco’s school robes were thrown over a bucket and I had loosened his tie. My skirt was up higher than my grandmother would approve of.

That’s a lie. My grandmother is the one who passed all this cursed (blessed?) Veela magic to me.

Our faces were still inches apart and we were holding each other close. I stroked his face and said 

“I need to go to class.”  
“Me too.”  
“I’ll leave first.”

I straightened my clothes as he straightened his tie. His lips were pink and swollen from all the venom. I silently placed my fingers on his lips and the swelling receded. He thanked me with a smile. The coast was clear and I skipped down the hall to charms only just late. As I sat at my desk next to Hermione my heart was still hammering in my chest. 

‘Twenty four hours.’ I thought to myself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

October 4th 

I woke up the next morning with my jaw clenched. It was still clenched by the time I sat down for breakfast. My morning lessons were a wash. All I could think about was Draco with his loosened tie and swollen lips. By lunch I had begun deep breathing exercises to attempt to get my heart rate down from rabbit to human. My jaw was still clenched. Afternoon lessons were worse than the morning. I was in agony. Can agony also feel like bliss? Every one of my nerve endings were thrumming. I wanted Draco Malfoy and I wanted him now. The last lesson before dinner I spent contemplating what it would feel like to be a real human girl in the same situation. I was pretty certain normal girls would simply daydream and hope to accidently run into that special guy in the hall. I was pretty certain they didn’t have to spend twenty four hours with a body that was actually on fire and a clenched jaw, while doing deep breathing exercises to keep from having a heart attack. 

At dinner both Harry and Hermione asked me if I was feeling Ok. 

“I’m a golden goose.” I replied.  
“You look like you’re in pain.” Harry said.  
“Yea and you’ve barely said a word all day. It’s been kind of nice actually.” Ron said.  
“I’m fine I’m just a little tense.” I said.  
Hermione looked at me carefully and then the only thing that could make my day worse showed up, and he comes with a double.

“Fuck” I said as Fred and George squeezed onto the bench on either side of Ron.  
Fred and George are my closest friends on this planet besides Hermione. The hours I have spent with them laughing and getting into trouble are my fondest memories. But, they are also two giant pains in my ass. Two giant pains who know me and who know exactly what I’ve been going through with my Veela magic these last few months.

“Damn Cait you are not looking good. Who’s the lucky guy?” Fred said, grabbing a chicken leg off Ron’s plate.”  
“Seriously girl, it is not healthy to keep all your urges bottled up like that.” George added.  
I glared at them with my jaw clenched tight.  
“Has she been like this all day?” Fred asked through a mouthful of chicken.  
Harry, Ron, and Hermione nodded.  
“Get out of here right now and jump whoever it is that has got you wound so tight. Go on shoo!” George said making shooing motions with his hands.  
I looked at my watch and I had more than met my twenty four hour quota.  
I gave them a pained smile and headed up to Gryffindor tower. I looked over my shoulder as I reached the door and turned my gaze to the Slytherin table. I searched for a pair of blue eyes that I knew would already be looking at me.

I wasn’t wrong.

In my dormitory I opened the window and called to my owl. Now that I had made the decision to meet Draco, tonight, I was feeling lighter and better with every passing minute. Wendolin tapped on the window and I let her in. I scribbled a note to Draco asking him to meet me in front of a specific portrait and gave him directions. The portrait I described to him led to a secret room that was accessible only by Veela magic. Hermione would not think it weird if I didn’t sleep in the dormitory tonight because I usually slept in the Veela room, as I have come to call it. I changed and hurried off.

With only a few minutes to go before curfew I finally saw Draco come around the corner and look around curiously. This was a part of the castle most have never been to. He came up to me and slipped his hand in mind. I turned to the painting of a Veela and she reached towards the canvas with her index finger extended. I reached up my own index finger and when our fingers met on the canvas the portrait swung open. 

“Impressive” Draco said as he looked around.  
“I found it my second year. I pretty much live here now. It’s more private.” 

I poured us both a glass of wine and he took his with a smile. I sat down on the couch and he joined me. 

“Are you wondering why I put that note in your hand yesterday?” He asked.  
“Yes.”  
“Ask me anything.”  
I paused and took a sip of my wine. “I don’t really want to talk right now.” 

He pulled me onto his lap and we picked up where we left off in the broom closet. I breathed a sigh of relief. My Veela in the passenger seat was happy and letting me stay in control. Just when I was wondering if I had reached Nirvana a slight nervous shake in Draco’s hands as he pulled my dress over my head made me think of something that had never occurred to me.

“Have you done this before?” I asked.  
“No” he said in between planting kisses on my neck. 

I looked at him with a smile to get a better read on his emotions and he gave me a smile back. He was calm, and confident, not cocky but, he didn’t doubt himself.

“What are we waiting for then?” I teased. 

Curiosity may have killed the cat, but satisfaction brought him back.


	2. Monday Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My time with Draco locked away in the Veela room was like a little piece of paradise. When we closed that door we had no worries about friends, family, war, death, OWLs, nothing. We didn’t talk about those things either. The talking we did do was shallow. We teased and flirted and talked a bit about school gossip but otherwise, we were just trying to get as many new positions in by Christmas as we could.

“I’m ready to hear what inspired you to request my attendance in the broom closet yesterday.” I said pulling on my robe and sitting on the couch.   
Draco took a sip of his wine and said “I’m tired of the fakeness.”  
“Fakeness in Slytherin house? No!” I said sarcastically.  
“I’m exhausted. I need to be around someone new and different and you were the person who came to mind. I knew you could look past our obvious differences.”  
“And….” I prompted.  
“And sleeping with you was also part of my plan.” He said with a half-cocked smile.  
“Isn’t life so much easier when we just say what we mean?”   
He raised his glass to me. “What made you meet me?”  
“I was dying of curiosity.”  
“What made you stay for the fun?”  
I looked into his eyes and liked what I saw there. I decided to answer without teasing.  
“The honest smile you had on when I walked in. If you had your normal smirk on your face I would have walked right back out.”   
“It felt natural when I saw you.”  
“I have that effect on people.”   
“No, you have this effect on people.” He mimicked the dazed, goofy grin males tend to adopt when I walk by and I laughed.  
“I don’t intend to tell anyone about this.” Draco said.  
“Thank Godric!” I responded and clinked my glass against his.   
“Can we meet here again? I can help relieve all that tension you feel.”   
“How’d you know about that?”  
“Gryffindors aren’t the only ones who are good at eavesdropping.”   
I smiled and leaned against him. “I’m not looking for a relationship with you. I could get past your issues with Ron and Harry but, I don’t think I could get past all the terrible things you’ve said about Hermione. I know how deep that prejudice runs and I don’t like it. I also couldn’t get past…”  
“What?”  
I turned to look at his face. He saw how serious I was. “I know you know Voldemort is back.”  
“I do know.”  
“and you and your family are obviously thrilled about that.”   
“you and your family are obviously not.” He countered.   
A long silence followed.  
“Ok then. As long as we’ve got that out of the way.” I said slowly.   
“I’m looking for a person to relax with and have some fun, far away from all the crap that’s going on out there in this wretched school.”   
“I think you’ve found the place.” I said gesturing around the room. “And the person.” I added, slipping my robe off my shoulders. “Come on the second time is always more fun.”

October 10th   
Another Monday, another double potions. I had been helping Fred and George with their Skiving Snackboxes all weekend and hadn’t seen Malfoy romantically since the previous week. Also, every time I had seen him he was acting like such a git I wanted to kick him. Despite this I was not surprised when a message appeared on my potions notes asking:

'What’s your fantasy?'

So I told him. 

'Let’s make it happen tonight'

Boy did he make it happen. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
November 7th 

We carried on in this way for a few weeks. Every Monday either Draco or I would send a note in potions and get the other fired up for our “Monday Meeting,” as we liked to call it. I told my friends I was doing an extra credit project on non-human transfiguration with Mcgonagall. I don’t know what Draco told his friends. As the weeks went on things were getting worse and worse not only in the world but, inside the school walls as well. We began meeting on more than just Monday’s. My favorite way to spend breaks between classes was getting off with Draco in any given broom closet.  
While Professor Umbridge was making Harry write “I must not tell lies.” Her insane prejudice against part humans was only barely being contained in my presence. At first, she made comments about the safety of the other students who must share a classroom with me. She progressed to removing me from her class if I even spoke to another student. Just one lesson with Umbridge took so much out of me emotionally. If I spoke or even looked up from my book I would receive some kind of punishment. On the outside, I took her physical and verbal abuse with a straight back and squared shoulders, on the inside I was wilting. So many times after Umbridge killed off another part of me with her words the thought of Draco pulled me back to the surface and reminded me I could still look towards the sun.   
Before class started one day I was in a particularly excellent mood and was goofing off. Umbridge had left her radio on and there was some slow, horrible noise coming out of it. Ron and I were pretending to cry while twirling around the classroom. I failed to notice the classroom got quiet until Ron dipped me towards the floor and dropped me. He scurried to his seat. I just remained lying on the floor, wondering why these things happen to me. 

“Detention Ms. ---“

I got up and returned to my seat. For over a week I wrote “Whore” over and over again into the back of my hand. I told, unlike Harry. At this point, there wasn’t a lot anyone could do to stop her. 

November 14th   
My detentions with Umbridge were finally over and I was excited to spend my evening with Draco. My time with Draco locked away in the Veela room was like a little piece of paradise. When we closed that door we had no worries about friends, family, war, death, OWLs, nothing. We didn’t talk about those things either. The talking we did do was shallow. We teased and flirted and talked a bit about school gossip but otherwise, we were just trying to get as many new positions in by Christmas as we could. 

“I still can’t believe I saw you playing grab ass with Pansy Parkinson this weekend.” I said, grabbing his ass.  
“You’re not always around to play grab ass with.” He said returning the favor.  
“You probably have more in common with Pansy than we have in common so overall you two could be very happy together.” I teased.  
“Pansy can’t hold a candle to you Caitlin.”   
“Be still my heart.” I said pulling my hair up into a pony tail. As I pulled it tight Draco grabbed my wrist and saw what was scarring there.  
“What is this?” He asked.  
“Your best pal Umbridge.” I replied.  
He kissed my hand. “I’m sorry she did this to you baby.” 

Baby.

Not once had either of us used words like baby when speaking to each other.   
He walked up behind me and unzipped my dress. A part of me was unzipped and tossed aside too. 

An indeterminate amount of time later I was stretched out on the chaise in Draco’s dress shirt drinking a glass of wine and talking about nothing. I suddenly felt restless. I got up and paced the room. I looked out the window. Fluffed some pillows. Made the bed. 

“It’s just going to be unmade again.” He said flirtatiously.  
I thoughtfully crossed the room and said “Draco tell me something meaningful about yourself.”  
There was a long pause. “Um, I like quidditch.”  
“But quidditch isn’t like a huge part of you. You don’t live and breathe quidditch.”  
“No…”  
“So give me something with substance. Something from your soul.”  
Crickets.  
“You give me something from your soul.”  
“I love the beach at night. I love the way the moon shines over the ocean and the breeze makes everything magical. It’s dark and mysterious and dangerous all at the same time. I believe in kindness and love. I love having adventures with a great friend and when someone makes you laugh from the bottom of your belly.”  
“You’ve put some thought into this.”  
“You haven’t?”   
“I’m trying to come up with something and all I can think of is money, society, and the dark arts.”   
“Ok, that’s different. What do you have to say about those things?”  
“Nothing, it’s just what my life has been about.”  
“Draco Malfoy you have as much depth as a puddle.”   
“Is that so?” He drawled.  
“We only have one life and if you’re not spending it figuring out what your passions are, and chasing them, what’s the point?”   
“Oh we’re back on the subject of passion are we?”  
“Did I bruise your ego?”  
“Just a little.”  
“Will your father hear about this?” I teased.  
His head snapped up and he glared at me. “I do say that rather a lot don’t I?” He said, his expression softening.  
“I think I’m just about the only thing your father hasn’t heard about.”  
He laughed coldly.  
“My father does not ever need to know about all the ways you spread your legs for me.” He said, sliding his hand up my thigh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
That night I lay awake marveling at Draco’s ability to compartmentalize the different aspects of his life. He has us all tied up in neat little boxes. In one box is his relationship with me, in another box is the school boy we all know and loathe, in another is his home life and very rarely will they ever overlap. As a part human, my abilities to compartmentalize are solid but, Draco, he is the master. He is a little confusing because he is so hard to read. What confuses me more than anything however, is that if any of Draco’s Death Eater pals knew about his relationship with me he would lose a lot more than if my friends and relatives knew I was involved with him.


	3. Missing the Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why do we hide this?” Draco asked as he stroked my face.  
> It took me a minute to remember why. “Because the Draco Malfoy inside this room makes me so happy but, the Malfoy outside of this room I don’t even like one little bit.”

November 14th 

“I love to sing.” He whispered in my ear as I was nearing the climax of our Monday Meeting.  
“Can we talk about this later?” I panted.   
He flipped me over and his tongue sent me to the stars. 

I also love to sing. Veela as a race are excellent singers and often use song to lure in their prey (men). I don’t use song in that way (much). I was giddy knowing that Draco could sing too and I was babbling.   
“Why haven’t you ever told me? I bet you’re a baritone. No, maybe a tenor? I can’t see you being a bass. What do you think? Can you play?”   
“I don’t know any of those things and I play a little piano and guitar.”   
“Sing for me! What do you like? Want me to get my Ukulele?” I ran into the other room to get my Ukulele without waiting for an answer.  
“You’re acting like a child.”  
“How can I not be! You’re no longer a puddle my friend!” I hopped across the room strumming a silly tune.   
Draco calmly took the Ukulele from my hands and said “Am I just a friend?”  
He sat on the couch. I was irritating him. He strummed the Uke and sang me a song about the sea at night. 

November 21st  
Hermione knows something is up.   
“Who are you writing notes to?” She asked with a hint of nosiness.  
“A secret admirer.” I teased.  
We laughed together and she dropped it.   
I wouldn’t put it past her to try to get some extra credit work of her own. If she approached Mcgonagall about doing extra credit as well, she obviously knows now that I’m disappearing every Monday and am lying about where I’m going.

“Hermione knows somethings up.” I confessed to Draco later that night.  
I saw in his face all the nasty things he wanted to say about Hermione Granger. He visibly clenched his jaw and swallowed.   
“Ok.”   
“Are you worried?”  
“No.”  
“Me either.”   
“Good.”  
His shortness made me smile. I tossed a pillow at him and he smiled too.  
He held out his arms and I gladly fell into them. “What are your parents like?”   
“My dad is a riot. He is a petal to the metal kind of guy. We’re a lot alike.”  
“Sounds it.”  
“My mother and my dad are hopelessly in love. Embarrassingly so at times. She and I are very close. She’s everything I wish I could be. She’s charming and never talks too much, very classy and sophisticated.”  
“Isn’t she a Veela too?”  
“Yes. She hides it better than me. She says these next few years will be the hardest but, I’ll get through them.”  
“Of course you will.”  
“I don’t know how I would survive this without her.”  
“You talk like being heart breakingly beautiful is a curse.”  
“There’s a lot more to Veela than being beautiful and none of it is really pleasant.”  
“Tell me.” He requested, stroking my hair.  
“They’re a very cruel race wrapped up in lovely packaging. All of their days are spent spreading mischief and chaos. They live to trick and confuse humans and they do this through sex, magic, and poison. They love material things like jewels and furs and marble floors and every now and then a Veela gets it into her head that living among her native tribe isn’t for her and she will usually bag herself a very handsome and very rich husband. Whether this man lives under her full, partial or no spell for the rest of his life is up to her and that’s how come there are part Veela running around.”  
“Sounds like a good time.”  
“I don’t think I can explain it to you.”   
“I hope someday you can.”   
He yawned and I contemplated the weight of the word ‘someday.’   
“I hear your father brags about all the Death Eaters he can’t wait to kill.”  
“I hear your father can’t wait to kill me.”   
He yawned again. “Seems like it.”   
Silence.  
Silence.  
Silence.  
“Draco?”  
He was asleep. He had never spent the night here with me and I didn’t really want him to. His dead weight was beginning to crush me. I levitated him to the bed and followed under the covers. A long time passed and I was still awake. It was clear to me how I felt. I liked the Draco I spent time with every Monday but, that Draco did not exist in the real world. I was also painfully aware of how without Draco, the Veela in my passenger seat would be in control more often than not, attempting to steer me towards one boy and then another. Draco made her purr like a kitten and take a nap in the sun, allowing me the freedom to strengthen my more human attributes. Draco rolled over in his sleep and wrapped his arm around me. He sleepily whispered in my ear “I love being here with you, baby.”   
There were two, four letter words, in that sentence.   
I began to feel sleepy under Draco’s warm weight. Right before falling asleep it occurred to me that he and I hadn’t even had sex tonight, which was the whole point of having a Monday Meeting in the first place. 

November 22nd  
We didn’t go to class today. I thought I had been with Draco Malfoy in every way possible but, I was wrong. Together, on this beautifully snowy Tuesday morning we were soft and sweet and silly and my heart beat with something other than furious longing because, I had nothing to long for. I had everything. We snuggled up under the blankets with lazy smiles on our faces and fireworks in our eyes.   
“Why do we hide this?” Draco asked as he stroked my face.  
It took me a minute to remember why. “Because the Draco Malfoy inside this room makes me so happy but, the Malfoy outside of this room I don’t even like one little bit.”  
“I can’t exist outside of this room like I do in here.”  
“I know you can’t. There’s also the issue of your prejudice against muggle borns and part humans.” I paused. “I feel like you don’t understand my magic. Maybe it even scares you a little.” I looked away from him.   
“I wonder if you’re using your magic on me at times.”  
“I compare my magic to perfume. It’s always hanging around. You’ve built up an immunity to that little bit by now and, you aren’t very susceptible to it to begin with. If I hit you with a full blast, you would know. You wouldn’t care until I released you but, you would know.”   
“So you have control over it?”  
“Yes it’s something I can see and humans can’t. I can direct it where I want it to go. I can’t control anyone though, it’s not like the Imperius curse even though some who have experienced both claim they feel very similar.”  
“Use it on me now.”  
“No.”  
“Don’t use it on me in public.”  
“I wouldn’t. You would more than likely expose our secret.”  
“You can do other magic too though. You never use your wand for simple spells.”  
“I can only do simple spells like levitation, making fires, things like that. Veela are very good at magic spells, they just don’t have a lot of them. I can also apparate.”  
He whipped his head back towards me. “Anywhere?”  
“Anywhere.”  
“Inside Hogwarts.”  
“Anywhere.” I didn’t like the look on his face. “I can’t do side along apparition though. I would have to learn to apparate like a witch to do that.” It wasn’t a lie even though it sounded like one.   
“Show me?”  
I snapped my fingers and faded into thin air. From the chair across the room I said “Don’t you ever say ‘please.’” I snapped my fingers again and reappeared under the covers. I settled back into the pillows.   
“There’s an elephant in this room keeping us apart as well.” I paused, and when he didn’t say anything I continued, “We play for different teams. You’re offense and I’m defense. I’m with the good guys and you’re with the bad guys.”  
“How I see it is I’m with the Right guys and you’re with the Wrong guys.”  
I sighed heavily.   
“I’m singing in a pub this weekend. I have special permission to go. Apparate down and see me. There won’t be any other students there. We can test ourselves out in the real world.”  
Without hesitating I said “yes.”


	4. The Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione and Ginny came into the girl’s dormitory just as I was pinning the emeralds into my ears.   
> “Where are you going looking so fancy?” Ginny asked taking in my little black dress and heels.   
> “Caitlin has a secret admirer she won’t say one word about.” Hermione huffed.  
> “That’s not like you to not kiss and tell.” Ginny teased.  
> I just smiled and smoothed out my dress.  
> Hermione and Ginny shared incredulous looks.  
> “Are you ill?” Ginny asked.  
> “I might be.” I pulled on my coat. “Don’t wait up.” I said, winking at them in the mirror.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! The song in this chapter Is "Riptide" by Vance Joy ~ Thank you for reading!

November 26th   
I woke up Saturday morning to Wendolin pecking at my window. She had a note and a small box in her care. 

"Tonight wear something as beautiful as you are, and these."

Inside the box was a pair of emerald earrings. I stroked Wendolin’s feathers and wondered how much money the Malfoy’s actually had. It must be a lot if a teenager could buy a pair of emerald earrings without his parents noticing. With a soft ‘hoot’ Wendolin left me to my thoughts.

Hermione and I opted for coffee and toast by the fire in the common room. We stayed in our jammies till the afternoon and talked and laughed all morning. A part of me ached to come clean to her about Draco but, I dared not. It hurt to think there are people in the world who feel nothing but hatred for my smart, caring, lovely friend. It hurt to remember I was fornicating with one of them. For the first time in a long time, the human part of me was overpowering the Veela part. My feelings were very raw. Fortunately Fred and George came exploding into the common room and lightened my mood. 

Hermione and Ginny came into the girl’s dormitory just as I was pinning the emeralds into my ears.   
“Where are you going looking so fancy?” Ginny asked taking in my little black dress and heels.   
“Caitlin has a secret admirer she won’t say one word about.” Hermione huffed.  
“That’s not like you to not kiss and tell.” Ginny teased.  
I just smiled and smoothed out my dress.  
Hermione and Ginny shared incredulous looks.  
“Are you ill?” Ginny asked.  
“I might be.” I pulled on my coat. “Don’t wait up.” I said, winking at them in the mirror.  
“Ahh there’s the dirty Caitlin we know and love.” Ginny said with relief.   
I hugged and kissed them both and said “And don’t spend all night trying to figure out who I’m meeting tonight. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” I snapped my fingers and was gone. 

The pub was dark and smoky. The host took my coat and when I gave him my name, he led me to a seat at the bar. He removed a card reading ‘reserved.’ He signaled to the bartender and a martini was placed before me. A teenager walks into a bar. She gets five star treatment within the first five minutes and served without question. The whole thing smelled like Malfoy money and I loved it. I looked around the room and from what I could see through the smoke and dim lighting we fit in well here. Most of the other patrons were young couples or friends. I relaxed a little. 

Draco did wonderfully. He obviously had been practicing both his singing and guitar playing. Many people danced while he played but, I remained at the bar and drank him in. My shallow little puddle was showing me his depth. When he reached the start of his last song he reported to the room his last song was one he wrote himself. My heart leapt. He wrote it himself! He changed his guitar for a Ukulele and the smile on my face reached to my ears. The chorus went:  
lady, running down to the riptide  
Taken away to the dark side  
I want to be your left hand man  
I love you when you’re singing that song and  
I got a lump in my throat because you’re gonna sing the words wrong. 

And then:

I just wanna, I just wanna know  
If you're gonna, if you're gonna stay  
I just gotta, I just gotta know  
I can't have it, I can't have it any other way

When he finished I clapped with the rest and discreetly wiped a tear from my eye. He put away his instruments and joined me at the bar. The bartender poured us a round.  
“I loved your song.” I said.  
“I thought you might.” He said, taking a sip of his drink. Music was playing while the next musician set up. Draco took my hand and led me out to the dance floor. His left arm held me firmly against his body and his right hand held my hand in his. He was leading and there was no doubt about it. His good breeding was really showing.  
“Draco Malfoy you’re as deep as an ocean tonight.” I flirted.   
He smiled down at me. “I’m trying. Do you like your present?”  
“I love my present, thank you.”   
“They bring out your eyes.”   
I fluttered my lashes and we laughed together. I couldn’t look away from his eyes. When the song ended we walked back to our seats and he kept his hand on my lower back. We danced the rest of the night away. By the time the bar closed my Veela whispered from the passenger seat ‘we could get used to this.’ She liked the earrings. 

Draco and I walked up the lane back towards the castle arm in arm. After a few minutes of quiet walking Draco said “I want to be like this all the time.”   
“Me too but, this is just the surface, you are so much more and so am I.”  
He didn’t answer.  
“One day Draco, you are going to meet a woman who peeks into your soul. She will see all the light and all the dark and love everything that she sees there. More importantly, you will peek into her soul and love everything you find there as well.”   
More silence.  
“And you will write me a letter saying ‘you were right Caitlin, you are always right, you should be made queen of the universe.’ Then your wife will write me a letter saying ‘Caitlin, I know we’ve never met but I just wanted to thank you for teaching my husband Draco everything he knows about oral. Signed- a very happy wife.’”

This got some quality laughter out of him, followed by more silence. Draco was untying his neat little boxes and attempting to join them all together.   
“You know, I think you’ve already found the person you just described to me.” Draco ventured.  
“Who’s that?” I asked curiously.  
“George Weasley.”  
I laughed. “Why George and not Fred? Why them at all?”  
“You are very close to both of them, true. But I saw something last weekend that made me think it’s George and not Fred.”   
“Go on.” I urged.  
“The three of you and Jordan were up to something out on the lawn and you came running at full speed into the entrance hall. I was just about to enter the great hall with Crabbe and Goyle and when you turned the corner behind the twins you slipped on the wet floor. George doubled back to help you up and Fred kept up his sprint.”   
“Stuff like that happens all the time.” I said, brushing it off.  
“When you got back to your feet, he didn’t let go of your hand.”   
I searched the memory in my head and made a connection I had never made before. I could think of several other times where something similar had happened.   
“We’re close.” I shrugged.   
“You belly laugh when you’re with him and go on countless adventures.”  
I stopped walking and turned to him.  
“When I walked into that broom closet for the first time and saw you standing there I knew an adventure was going to happen.”  
His lips were on mine and his hands were in my hair and everywhere. He kissed my neck and I saw the moon clear and bright in the sky, like a moon hanging over the ocean.  
“Are you going to meet me upstairs or cry some more about George Weasley?” I teased.  
He met me upstairs.  
I was waiting for him in the moonlight wearing nothing but the earrings he bought me. It was like Tuesday morning all over again except this time instead of slow and silly we were urgent and passionate. Feelings. So many feelings. I started thinking. I started thinking way too much. I thought about how Draco was starting to believe the lie we had built for ourselves in this room. I thought about how this was all supposed to be about getting laid. I thought about how he had shown me his heart tonight and spoiled me rotten. I was rotten. I began to cry.  
“Baby! What’s wrong?” Draco asked hugging me close and cradling my head.   
“I’m breaking your heart.” I said through my tears.   
He didn’t answer. He just held me while I cried into his shoulder. When I finally faced him he wiped my tears and said “No, you haven’t broken it yet.”


	5. Caught

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was during the last class of the term that Draco and I learned that we had been caught. Professor McGonagall stood at the front of the room and said “Students one of your classmates has been hiding a gift from us! Mr. Malfoy would you please share your lovely voice with the rest of the class this evening?”  
> You could hear a pin drop in the room.  
> “Perhaps you’d prefer to be a duet? Ms. --- plays beautifully I’m sure she wouldn’t mind. Sing what you like but, I would prefer to hear the song you sang in the pub the weekend before last. The one you wrote?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I diverge from canon a lot here but, I had this wonderful little scene in my head where McGonagall calls Draco and Caitlin out and the only way I could think to fit it in was to make it up :)

December 16th  
We didn’t meet the Monday after Draco sang in the bar, or the next. Every minute of my time was spent studying, attending DA meetings, or helping Fred and George with their joke shop. When I would pass Draco in the hall my Veela would hiss from the passenger seat ‘remember how much fun he was?’

I don’t think I’ll ever forget. 

Fifth and Seventh years had to take an Art and Creativity class every Friday evening for the first term of school. It was supposed to make us more well rounded individuals. I loved this class but, not many did. Wizards are not the most artistic or creative bunch. What was nice about this class was that the fifth years from all four houses took it together. The heads of houses took turns supervising and directing us on our projects. At the start of each class the professor in charge would ask a random student to share what they have been working on and after that we were supposed to let our creativity flow. 

It was during the last class of the term that Draco and I learned that we had been caught. Professor McGonagall stood at the front of the room and said “Students one of your classmates has been hiding a gift from us! Mr. Malfoy would you please share your lovely voice with the rest of the class this evening?”  
You could hear a pin drop in the room.  
“Perhaps you’d prefer to be a duet? Ms. --- plays beautifully I’m sure she wouldn’t mind. Sing what you like but, I would prefer to hear the song you sang in the pub the weekend before last. The one you wrote?”

Malfoy and I stole the teeniest glances at each other. He was pink but, recovering. I snapped out of it and put on my best act. This is normal. This is all normal and no one knows a thing. I told myself.  
“Don’t worry Malfoy I’ll make you look good.” I teased as I walked towards the Slytherins. He didn’t move so I grabbed his hands and pulled him out of the crowd. “Don’t be scared, I don’t bite.” I attempted to spin him around with me and he got halfway through the turn before he pulled his hands out of mine and smoothed his jacket and hair. This is good. I thought. I’m acting like myself and so is he.  
“The song you were playing before class the other day on the lawn? I think I remember the tune.” I asked, clutching at straws. He nodded.  
Somewhere in the last minute Draco’s confidence returned. He looked at me smiling on the stool, Ukulele in hand and said to the room. “A girl who is deeper than the ocean once told me I was as shallow as a puddle. I wrote this song to prove her wrong.” He then sang his song for me. 

When we finished our classmates applauded and everyone shuffled off to their different work stations.  
“I think we did it.” I whispered as I put my Ukulele away.  
“Did you see McGonagall at the pub?” He whispered back.  
“No! It was so dark and smoky in there anyone could have been in the back.”  
We had to end our conversation there, or risk drawing attention to ourselves. At the end of class McGonagall asked us to stay behind.

Draco and I stood next to each other and she gave us a disapproving look from behind her desk that I felt would never end. We both squirmed under her gaze.  
“Part of me still doesn’t believe what I saw with my own two eyes in town.” She finally said.  
We remained silent.  
“The two of you are standing atop a tower of cards. Proceed with caution.”  
“Professor, none of our friends or family know about this.” I said meekly.  
“Clearly.” She answered. “I will keep it that way. However,” Her voice took on a gentler tone that made us both look up at her. “It appears to me that you two bring out a lot of light in each other and it only takes a little light to beat the dark. Ms. --- you are dismissed.” I turned tail and jogged out of the room. “Mr. Malfoy.” McGonagall said in the same kind voice. “That girl is overflowing with love and passion she can’t even begin to comprehend yet. She will love you forever if you let her.”  
Draco stared at the door I had just ran out of and said “It’s not me who needs to be convinced, Professor.”  
I jogged all the way back to Gryffindor tower. Hermione, Ron, and Harry already had their homework spread out on a table. I waltzed over to them and Ron said  
“What are you playing at!”  
“What am I playing at Ron?”  
“You and Malfoy sure looked cozy in class today.”  
“You know I love a good song.”  
“If I didn’t know better I’d think that song had a special meaning to you.”  
“Ron don’t be ridiculous. Who do you guys think he wrote that song about?”  
“Well it can’t be anyone we know can it?” Harry said.  
“Why do you say that? There are loads of girls in this school.” I said.  
“Because he was talking about a girl with depth what girl in Slytherin house has any depth?” Harry said.  
The four of them laughed.  
“It can’t be a Gryffindor.” Hermione said “Malfoy hates Gryffindors.”  
The rest of the night consisted of homework and brainstorming who in the school Malfoy was having a relationship with. The whole time my secret glowed in my chest like a talisman.


	6. Veela Voodoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “This train ride might actually be bearable if it didn’t reek of mudbloods.” He sneered.
> 
> Something inside me snapped. An electric current ran like a shiver across my skin and the paper I was holding burst into flames. I could have burned all the way down the hall and killed him. But I didn’t. I had a better idea. With a momentous amount of effort I extinguished the flames burning in the palms of my hands and brought my rage down from an 85 to a 10.   
> “Blimey.” Ron said.  
> “Excuse me.” I said, deathly calm. “I think I know some boys who need to lose all their money in a game of cards.” I got to my feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favorite chapter of the series! I diverge from canon here again a bit in the beginning. I hope you enjoy it!

December 20th   
I love muggle clothes. I was sitting on the train home for Christmas Break in a compartment with Harry, Ron, and Hermione and I was looking forward to two and a half weeks of not having to put robes on once. I had on a pencil skirt and a V neck tee. I turned the page of the newspaper I was reading and crossed my legs. The boys were talking about all the different ways they could get rid of Umbridge and Hermione was reading the paper over my shoulder. Crookshanks was purring in her lap.   
The train was raucous. Students were celebrating by playing Exploding Snap and running up and down the hall banging on the doors as they passed. Draco and I had spent one last night together before Christmas Break began and it was like old times. I lost focus on the paper as a Fanged Frisbee ricocheted off the compartment door. A long train ride lie ahead. I was just contemplating the likelihood of getting Draco alone somewhere without being caught when his drawling voice drifted past our compartment.

“This train ride might actually be bearable if it didn’t reek of mudbloods.” He sneered.

Something inside me snapped. An electric current ran like a shiver across my skin and the paper I was holding burst into flames. I could have burned all the way down the hall and killed him. But I didn’t. I had a better idea. With a momentous amount of effort I extinguished the flames burning in the palms of my hands and brought my rage down from an 85 to a 10.   
“Blimey.” Ron said.  
“Excuse me.” I said, deathly calm. “I think I know some boys who need to lose all their money in a game of cards.” I got to my feet.  
“Caitlin, don’t.” Hermione said. “It’s fine.”  
“No Hermione. It’s not fine.” I said in that same voice that sounded too calm.  
As I exited the compartment Fred and George entered. I kept walking past them. They both wolf whistled at my retreating figure. I flipped them the bird over my shoulder. “Someone’s going to get it eh George.”   
“Poor chap, he doesn’t even know what’s about to hit him.” I heard them enter the compartment I just left and shut the door.

I was completely out of control but, at the same time completely in control in a way I never had been before. My Veela was in the driver seat with the top down driving 120 down the highway and the human part of me was in the passenger seat enjoying the crazy ride. As I sashayed down the hallway I knew exactly what I would find when I entered Malfoy’s compartment. He would be sitting with his friends, probably Crabbe, Goyle, and Blaise. Pansy would more than likely be present. They would be laughing at a stupid joke he told and he’d have that smug look on his face. Before they could finish their protests at my intrusion I would have them by the throats and I could watch the smug look slide off Malfoy’s face as he finally realized just what my magic could do. 

With a wave of my hand the compartment door slid silkily open.   
“No one invited you, ---“ Blaise said but his sentiments were about to change. Within seconds pink tendrils only I could see had snaked their way into the ears, nose, and mouths of the boys. A fourth tendril wrapped tight around their throats. Malfoy would need more to make him ditzy because he had built up an immunity to my aura. I saved him for last. My magic wrapped lovingly around his neck and I saw on his face complete recognition about what was happening, and just a teeny tiny spark of fear, before his eyes unfocused and he relaxed against the seat.   
“I’m in the mood for a card game and I hear this is where the high rollers hang out.” I said flirtatiously. My deck of cards shuffled on their own to accentuate my point. Several comments were made all around about just how much money they had to throw into the pot.   
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing.” Pansy screeched.   
“Sorry Pansy, this is a game for five people. Looks like you’ll have to sit this one out.” She was speechless.  
“Is this seat taken?” I asked. I slid onto Malfoy’s lap without waiting for an answer. Several more comments were made about whose lap would make a better seat than Malfoy’s. I just smiled and dealt the cards. “Pansy be a doll and close the door on your way out.” I requested sweetly. In the end it was my magic that encouraged her to comply. “That’s better isn’t it boys?” The four imbeciles eagerly agreed. The train gave a lurch. “Hold on tight Draco, you don’t want me falling off do you?” I purred. He wrapped his arms around my waist and gloated to his friends. He was talking the least but, that was ok. “Ante up boys.”

Draco

I knew I was fucked as soon as she opened the door. Her hair was blowing as if caught in an invisible wind. She had her hands on either side of the door frame and her hip cocked to the right. She looked like an angel, if Angel’s were down for a good time that is. She looked me in the eye as she dealt her blow and my brain slipped into bliss. I suddenly didn’t care. I felt like the strongest, most impressive man in the room and Caitlin obviously thought so too.   
“Is this seat taken?” She asked me. I couldn’t answer because I was completely enthralled by her hips swinging towards me. She leaned forward over the table to deal the cards and I got a splendid view of her backside, which was accentuated by the tight skirt she was wearing. I was vaguely aware of the words coming out of my mouth. The train lurched and Caitlin bounced on my lap. All the remaining blood flow I had going to my brain abruptly flowed south.   
“Hold on tight Draco, you don’t want me falling off do you?” She positively purred. I wrapped my left arm around her waist and my right hand slid down her shapely thigh. I squeezed her knee but, she kept them pressed firmly together. I looked at my friends to make sure they saw the special treatment I was getting. Caitlin said “Ante up boys” and I scrambled to throw the most money down on the table. 

George  
I smelled fire as my brother and I approached the compartment where our dear Caitlin, my other brother, Harry and Hermione were sitting, probably bored, just dying for some excitement to enter their lives in the form of two handsome and charming twins. Caitlin floated dreamlike out of the compartment just as we were about to enter. Fred and I looked her up and down and realized immediately she was in the throws of some kind of part human fit. We must have gotten a hit of the hell fire she was planning on unleashing because her hips were hypnotique. Fred and I let out a wolf whistle at the same time and she flipped us off. Such a lovely, charming girl she was becoming. Fortunately, the shrill whistle snapped us out of it.   
“What’s eating her?” I asked. Hermione filled us in. “And she just lost it? Blimey I wouldn’t want to change places with Malfoy right now eh Fred?”   
Fred agreed and shuffled the Exploding Snap cards. Ron left to go to the loo and when he returned he said “you will never guess what I just saw.”  
“Enlighten us.” Fred said, placing a card on the tower.  
“Caitlin is a few doors down cheating the Slytherins out of their money like she said she was but, she’s in there sitting on Malfoy’s lap all snug in his arms and everything!”  
“What!” Harry and Hermione exclaimed.  
The Exploding Snap tower exploded.  
“You guys don’t understand Cait at all, do you?” I asked, incredulously.   
“I don’t think they do Gerogie.” Fred agreed. “And you three are supposed to be her best friends and all.”  
“I’ve lost you somewhere.” Ron said angrily.   
“Caitlin is in the other room, doing what it is Veela do. You follow me? Our pretty little tart is only doing what is in her nature.”   
The three of them looked at their shoes.  
“You should feel ashamed.” I clucked. “She’s been struggling a lot this past year. Her Veela magic is getting stronger every day and it’s been very hard for her to hold on to her human side.”  
“She wakes up every morning horny as a rabbit.” Fred summarized.  
“And she’s not in the Veela Village is she? She has to survive in a world that tells her that voodoo isn’t allowed around our husbands and sons.”   
“I didn’t…” Hermione started.   
“No need to make excuses Hermione.” Fred said kindly.  
“Still though! Malfoy!” Ron said huffily.  
“Malfoy might be having a good time right now Ron but, as soon as Caitlin releases him from her spell it’s going to be all downhill from there for him.”  
“She’s got those poor souls by the balls.” I added solemnly.  
“Wasn’t it Malfoy who just waltzed down this hall talking about the smell of mudbloods? She’s in there sticking up for me!” Hermione hissed at Ron.  
“Too right you are, Hermione, atleast in her own weird way. Besides if she wants to seek revenge on someone by shaking what her mama gave her I say all the power to her.”   
“She’ll probably split the winnings with you guys when she gets here. We better sit tight Fred.” I added.  
We were rewarded for our patience with a beaming vision of youthful beauty carrying a very full purse. “Fred! George!” Caitlin beamed and she squeezed in between us on the seat. “That’s more like it.” I said wrapping my arm around her shoulders to get a peek in her wallet. “Just a minute ago you treated us like Frankie First Year.” Fred said, sneaking a peek at her winnings as well. “Not to mention that vulgar hand gesture.”   
“You know you two are number one in my heart.” She said batting her eyes at me. “Would some galleons cheer everyone up? I have about 150 here.” 

 

Caitlin 

Twenty minutes later I left Malfoy’s compartment with a full wallet. I walked slowly and calmly down the hallway and counted. “1, 2, 3, 4, 5.”  
BANG.  
The compartment door slammed open and a livid Draco Malfoy caught me in the hall by the arm and pulled me into an empty compartment. He locked the door and put a silencing charm on it.   
“What on Earth was that for!” He bellowed.  
“Oh baby you mean you don’t want to play?” I teased running my hands down his chest. He pushed me away from him and I giggled wickedly. “I guess not.”  
“Are you bored? Did you just feel like coming in there all tits and ass and making us look like fools?”   
“Don’t forget I took all your money.” I politely reminded him.  
“ANSWER ME!”  
“This train ride would be bearable if it didn’t reek of mudbloods.” I said mimicking his snotty voice.   
“As if you didn’t know I felt that way!” Draco retorted.   
‘Yes, Malfoy, I did know you felt that way but I can’t stand hearing it! You’re prejudice is the only thing keeping me from saying FUCK EVERYTHING and being with you and that hurts so bad. So why don’t you just go back into your compartment and lick your wounds with you nasty little friends and you can talk about what a filthy, disgusting, HALF-BREED WHORE I am!”   
He took a step back from me and for a minute I couldn’t tell if he was going to hit me or kiss me.   
“I think that’s what I’ll do.” He said and left the compartment.


	7. Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At night I dreamed of Draco and all the ways we had been together. I slept badly because my skin was on fire and my heart raced. When I woke in the morning, I ached. I needed an hour to center myself before I could get out of bed without poisoning every male trapped inside Number 12 with me. There was a very simple solution to my problems and all I needed was some help from Fred or George or Ron or Harry but, good girls home for Christmas Break didn’t do those things. More importantly, good girls home for Christmas Break didn’t use and abuse her friends. By Christmas Eve, I was completely exhausted. When I didn’t come out of my room in the morning my mother came up to check on me.   
> “I need to get away from these altar boys.” I said when she sat on the foot of my bed.  
> “Let’s go home then darling.”

The handful of days before Christmas nearly killed me. I felt like a bird in a cage. The first day back at the order was spent catching up with our friends and family and worrying about Mr. Weasley. I tried to distract myself by helping the twins with their inventory. They were the only other people besides my mother who could empathize with how challenging it was for me to keep my magic bottled up in the close quarters of the Order. I seemed to rub everyone but them and my parents the wrong way. The twins came up with the brilliant idea to experiment with adding Veela magic to love potions. The danger of creating something new while getting to use my magic in a productive way was the only thing that got me through that week. I think it helped them keep their mind off their dad as well. 

The day before Christmas Eve I spent the entire afternoon and part of the evening under the mistletoe, torturing everyone who walked by me. I thought this was great fun however, not everyone in the house appreciated my antics. Fred and George came back three times for smooches.   
“Don’t give me any of those prude pecks on the cheek either.” Fred said planting a wet one on my mouth.  
“Me either.” George said spinning me around and dipping me low to the ground. When they weren’t getting kisses of their own they were enjoying the chaos I was causing. They clapped and cheered Harry through the door and booed when he gave me the slip. I let Harry go easy, but I was not about to let Ron go without a fight. If anyone in this house needed a good kiss it was Ron Weasley. I failed. The twins jeered as he turned the color of beets. My reign of terror was put to an end shortly after. Professor Snape entered and I completely blocked his way through the door.  
“You’re not getting through without a kiss Professor Snape.” I sang. The twins were biting their knuckles and turning as purple as Ron in their mirth. Without a word, Snape hit me with a Knockback Jinx that sent me into the kitchen and sliding across the stone floor. The twins were howling with laughter. Snape stepped over me and my father, who usually can’t say “good morning” to Snape without starting an argument said “thanks mate.”   
“Someone needs to control that wild animal.” Snape said in his slick voice.  
“There’s nothing you, nor I, can do to tame that bird Severus.” 

At dinner that same day my dad made an announcement.  
“Anyone under the age of 20 who walks under the mistletoe while my daughter is standing under it will wish they had never been born.”   
“Oy! She started it!” Fred and George protested.  
“Aye, but you finished it, didn’t you laddies?”   
Fred and George tucked back into their stew and kept their heads down for the rest of dinner. I was giddy from how much fun the day turned out to be.

At night I dreamed of Draco and all the ways we had been together. I slept badly because my skin was on fire and my heart raced. When I woke in the morning, I ached. I needed an hour to center myself before I could get out of bed without poisoning every male trapped inside Number 12 with me. There was a very simple solution to my problems and all I needed was some help from Fred or George or Ron or Harry but, good girls home for Christmas Break didn’t do those things. More importantly, good girls home for Christmas Break didn’t use and abuse her friends. By Christmas Eve, I was completely exhausted. When I didn’t come out of my room in the morning my mother came up to check on me.   
“I need to get away from these altar boys.” I said when she sat on the foot of my bed.  
“Let’s go home then darling.”

We packed up our things and were home by lunch. It was dangerous for us to be home but, like my dad said, “When do the ---‘s ever shy away from danger!” Being out of Grimmauld Pl. was like being reborn. My head was clear and my skin cooled. I was so happy to be in my home I kissed the front door and hugged the drapes. I ran up the stairs and collapsed on my bed. Is there anything better to a teenage girl than her bedroom? That night my parents and I trimmed the tree and drank eggnog spiked with scotch. The alcohol made my Veela climb in the backseat and take a nap. I felt good and whole. 

I laid in my bed that night in total comfort. The Christmas candles sent a soft glow through my window and the moon was high and clear in the sky. For the first time in days I could snuggle under a warm, thick comforter and a fire was dying in the grate. My eyes were just getting heavy when an Eagle Owl tapped on my window. I let him in and he dropped the rose he was carrying in his beak on the comforter. The note he carried said

I miss every inch of you  
Merry Christmas

I laid back against my pillows and smelled the rose Draco sent. Did I miss him? I certainly missed every inch of him but, did I miss him. I missed the Draco who played the guitar and sang to me. I missed his confidence and self-assurance. I missed his honest smile but not his smirk or sneer or snotty voice. I didn’t mind his drawl. A shallow part of me missed being pampered like the queen. I didn’t miss his prejudice, cockiness, and hero worship of the death eaters. I wrote back 

Merry Christmas Baby

I sent Draco’s owl back to him before I could take back the use of a four letter word. I put my robe and my slippers on and went downstairs for a drink of water. I found my dad in the study with something a little stronger. He poured two fingers of whiskey into a glass with just the teeniest splash of eggnog.   
“Don’t tell your mother.” He winked.   
“She was just as bad.” I teased.  
He let out rough laughter. “Yes but, parents like to urge their children to do better than they did.”   
“It feels so good to be home.”  
“Aye, it does. I’m glad we did it. We may not have nights like this one for some time to come.”  
I drank my whiskey and I felt more human.   
“When I have just a little bit of alcohol, I feel more in control of my Veela magic. It makes me feel whole and good and better.” I said to my dad.  
“Oh my angel.” He said putting down his drink and hugging me. “You are whole and good and perfect with your Veela magic. I wouldn’t have you any other way.”  
“Thanks dad.” I said quietly.   
“Don’t you think your mother and I knew what we were in for when we had you?” He said pinching my cheek and making me smile. “Why do you think we only had ONE.” We laughed loudly and clinked our glasses.   
“Father Christmas won’t come visit boys and girls who stay up late drinking on Christmas Eve.” My mother said as she entered the room. She sat on my father’s lap and took his glass for her own.   
“So glad you could join us darling.” My father crooned, saving face. “Just having some father/daughter time.”   
“Mhmm, keeping all the good liquor for yourselves is more like it.”   
We sat up like that, laughing and talking together, till the small hours of the morning. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Our 48 hours spent in our home was over too soon and we were back in the suffocating darkness of Number 12 Grimmauld Place. One afternoon between Christmas and New Year’s I was lying on the couch in the front room with the window open and the door closed. I was practicing using my magic in a pathetic attempt to get some relief. My mother came in and closed the door behind her.   
“Brrrr, it’s like the arctic in here.”  
She scooped my head into her lap and gently brushed my hair back off my forehead. She massaged my temples and the little sparks from her fingertips relaxed the tension in my jaw and face. She lit the fire in the grate and asked if I was comfortable. The combination of heat from the fire and cold breeze from the window actually made me feel better rather than worse.   
“Yes thanks.” I said.  
“I’m sorry you have to endure this darling.” She whispered, stroking my hair.  
I closed my eyes and let her baby me.   
“I think I’m in trouble, mom.” I said.  
“The trouble with trouble is, it starts out as fun.” She cooed, massaging my scalp.  
“Fun is definitely what it started out as.” I closed my eyes again and breathed.  
“I swear I waited mom.” I whispered.  
“Oh darling, of course you did.” She said sympathetically. “What’s going on, hmmm?”  
“I became…involved…with someone at the start of term. I thought I had a rough time at school coping with my magic but, now that I’ve been here and have had no opportunity for any kind of release, I realize now that my relationship with him is the only reason I got through this term.” I took a couple more deep breaths. “It makes me sick to think it but, if I didn’t have him, I often wonder how many people would I have slept with to make this ache go away.” I confessed, my voice cracking. “But then, a really big part of me doesn’t even care because it would have been fun.”   
I pushed my palms into my eyes. “I’m so fucking tired. I wake up and my whole body is pulsing. I feel this need and I don’t know what it is I need but then something from deep inside me tells me what I need and where exactly to go and get it but I CAN’T go and get it because it’s inappropriate or not what nice girls do and it hurts, mom. It hurts my body and my soul.”   
My mom kept stroking my hair and massaging my scalp. My heart swelled with courage and I knew she was giving it to me.  
“I feel like other people don’t experience things the same way I do. When I’m happy, I’m soaring, when I’m angry, I’m livid. The smallest touch sends me reeling through space but, then I hold my magic in for a week and I’m being burned alive…..You’re the only one who understands. You and the twins.”   
“Those boys are very special.”   
“They don’t react to me like I’m wrong.”  
“Because you’re right.” She said smiling. “Your moods will settle down. I know it’s hard to not feel like yourself.”  
“So this boy.” I continued “He isn’t someone who I would have called a friend before we started hooking up. In fact, I would say most of the people I know consider him an enemy.”   
“Is this where the trouble starts?” She asked.  
“Not yet, although I guess that could be up for debate.”  
“Who is he darling?”   
“Draco Malfoy.”  
“I see.” She said, not unkindly.  
“We would meet in the Veela room pretty often and hook up and it was going along fine. Things have been so stressful at school this year with that awful Umbridge and Voldemort being back we created this alternate universe for ourselves. When we were in that room together he was not exactly a different person, but someone I could at least like. Sometime in November though, it started getting hard for him to separate sex from feelings.”  
“It always is harder for humans.”  
“This is where the trouble starts, I think.”  
“That’s up for debate.” She said with a wink and a smile.   
“We hung out one night and didn’t hook up and he spent the night. I knew what he was feeling and I was irritated that he couldn’t separate his feelings and see how his feelings were based on a fantasy. Then the next day we woke up and skipped class. Mom, it was…he was…I’ve never experienced anything like that. I’ve never shared something like that with anyone.”  
“You’re smiling.” My mother said smiling back at me.  
“So Draco asked why we have to hide what we have, and I reminded him why. I told him that the Draco inside that room doesn’t exist in the real world. I reminded him we play for opposite teams and our friends and loved ones would never mix. I reminded him that I choose to ignore his prejudice against muggle borns, I don’t accept it, and I brought up my magic.”  
“What did he say about your magic?”   
“Not a lot, he confessed he’s wondered if I’ve used it on him.”  
“Typical.” She said.  
“Then he asked me to come see him play at a pub in town. He had special permission and obviously I could apparate down there. He said we could try things out in the real world. I had the most wonderful night of my life. Draco handled everything. He sent me a gift, had my reservation ready, and paid off the bartender so I could drink. He looked so handsome and he sounded divine. His last song was a song he wrote for me and it was perfect. We spent the rest of the night dancing. Then that night the issue of us dating came up again and I told him that one day he would find someone who loved him inside and out and then he would understand.”  
“How’d he feel about that?”  
“He told me he thinks I’ve already found that person. He thinks its George Weasley.”  
“Does he?”   
“Yes. After that things got really busy at school and we saw less and less of each other and then, something happened on the train.”  
I took a deep breath and told her about my fit on the train ride home.  
“It feels good to let it take over, doesn’t it?” My mother said. I had never appreciated my mother as much as I did in that moment. “And they’re so funny when they’re angry afterwards.”  
“Mom, his face, I could die right now thinking of it.”  
“Anything else to tell?”  
I shook my head no and squeezed her hand.  
“You are a young girl who is shouldering the burden of a woman.” My mother said, kissing my forehead. “You hail from a breed of part humans who are lustful, promiscuous, heathens and because my mother decided she would rather shack up with a human our passion is our cross to bear. There are people in this world who will shame you for your desires but, you are the only person who has to live with yourself. So, as long as you are working every day to be your best self, your father and I will never ask anymore of you, and we will never be ashamed of your choices.” She looked at the hand that was scarred by Umbridge and stroked it with her thumb, as if trying to erase it with her love.  
“We are living in very dark times.” She continued. “Our family is in hiding, and we’re scared. You are in one of the most challenging years of your schooling on top of that. As if that weren’t enough, you are trying to balance your human thoughts, feelings, and emotions with your animal instincts. Is it any wonder you created an oasis with Draco? He is handsome, confident, and comes from one of the wealthiest wizarding families in Britain. Knowing this about him, the Veela part of you drove you into his arms and into bed. It’s obvious he has shown you enough redeeming qualities about himself to make you wonder if you’re falling in love with him but, at the end of the day. His mother is a death eater. His father is a death eater and, there is a very good chance that unless we win this war quickly, Draco will be a death eater too. I’m proud that you’re smart enough to realize how big of a deal that is.”  
A comfortable silence followed her speech.  
“I’m guessing no one knows about this?” She asked.  
“Not a soul.”  
“Are you going to continue seeing him after break?”  
“Mother” I said. “I have spent this entire break deep breathing and having sexual fantasies about every male in this house and half of the females. I tried to get Snape to kiss me under the mistletoe for god’s sake. The FIRST thing I do when I go back to school is going to be Draco Malfoy.”   
“Are you going to see him again after that?”  
“I’m going to see how it goes.”   
“See how it goes darling” She said getting to her feet. “and remember this, even though it doesn’t always feel like it, the human in you is so much stronger than the Veela.”   
She kissed my hand where the words “WHORE” would always be visible before letting it go. At the door she stopped and said “Oh and by the way, I think Draco is right about George.”  
“Of course he’s right about George.” I confessed. “I’m not ready for George. I want to be whole and good and perfect for him, and I’m not there yet.”   
“You are there, darling, and I can’t wait till you see it too.”


	8. Two Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is she drunk or insane?”  
> “The latter I think.”

January 3rd   
By New Year’s my burning skin and aching body had given way to an overload of nervous energy and jitteriness. My shameless flirting and barely controlled Veela venom that had driven everyone crazy the first half of break transformed into constant pacing, tapping, and bouncing knees. I could practically hear the collective sigh of relief from the Order members as the door closed behind me this morning. I was finally going back to school. 

I was sitting in a compartment with Fred and George. Ron flat out told me on the way to the station that if I was going to fidget the entire ride I could sit somewhere else and, I didn’t need Hermione’s disapproving looks and lectures about the habit forming choices I was making to help take the edge off my Veela in the passenger seat. I was sitting cross-legged next to George and jiggling my foot. In one hand I had a cigarette and in the other hand I had very large cup of coffee. 

“You’re too pretty to smoke.” George said.  
“I’ve got a lot of tension.” I said, flicking the butt out the window.  
“A lot of sexual tension.” Fred snickered. I pushed my coffee cup into George’s hands and started pacing the room. George took a sip and his face soured.  
“Is there whiskey in here?” He asked, eyeballing the cup uncertainly.  
“Let me see that.” Fred said taking the cup from his twin and taking a big sip. “Ugh the real problem here is who drinks their coffee black.”   
“Black like my soul.” I said taking the cup back and lighting another cigarette.   
“You’re aware it’s only about 10 o’clock in the morning right?” George asked.   
“Yes.”  
“Ok just checking, carry on.” He said.  
“Once I get laid I’ll be fine.”  
“I don’t know whether to be jealous or sorry for the poor bloke that you pick.”   
I stopped my pacing and slowly turned to face them, a wicked smile on my face.  
“Have you ever thought about me?” I asked with a voice like silk.  
“Oh here we go.” Fred muttered. “Thought about strangling you? Yes, often.”  
“Thought about how we can bring as much menace and mayhem to your days? Yes.” Said George.  
“You know what I mean.”   
“I’m going to let you in on a little secret.” George whispered melodramatically. “Every teenage boy in the school has thought about what it’d be like to roll around in the sheets with you, Caitlin.”  
I cackled with glee but, I wasn’t done teasing them yet.  
“Have you guys ever had sex with a girl at the same time?”  
“Why? You offering?” Fred said, yawning.   
I waggled my eyebrows suggestively.  
“No teenage girl thinks about having sex like you do.” Fred continued.  
“You’re one of a kind.” George added.  
“One in a million.” Fred said. “If I can convince one girl to have sex with me, without George present, which is how I would prefer it, I will not have considered my life a waste until this point. You follow?”   
“So no, we haven’t had sex with a girl at the same time.” George summarized.   
“What do girls do all day if they’re not trying to get laid?” I asked, frustrated.  
“Search me.” Fred said. “DON’T SEARCH ME.” He yelled seeing the mischievous look on my face.   
“But both of you have had sex, right?”   
“Right.” They said at the same time. “Not lately though,” George said. “You tend to scare the hens away.”  
I slid into the seat next to George and pushed my body right up against his. “Maybe.” I whispered seductively into his ear. “I do it on purpose.” I nibbled his ear lobe, and jumped to my feet. I blew them both a kiss at the door and with a wink I ran off down the hall.  
“I felt that in my toes.” George said.  
“That magic of hers is something else.” Fred said, laughing. “What’s she doing out there?”   
George got up and peeked out the window of the compartment. “She’s running up and down the hall.”  
“Is she drunk or insane?”  
“The latter I think.”  
“Probably a little of both, check her purse I bet she’s got a flask in there. I’m feeling a little boring compared to her today.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had him in my arms again. All the jitteriness disappeared as he undressed me. His hot skin felt like a cool breeze on my own. Like the ocean, we were swelling, rolling, crashing, pushing pulling, giving, taking. I was drowning, swimming, floating, flying. We crashed back down to Earth together and broke apart. As I lay on the bed next to him, trying to catch my breath, I wondered: how could something that’s supposed to be wrong, feel so right?

January 15th  
“You really don’t think House Elves have powerful magic?” I asked turning the radio on. Draco moved the furniture aside with a wave of his wand and spun me around on the carpet. I settled comfortably into his arms and he took the lead.   
“No, not particularly.” He answered.  
Draco and I were having a dinner and dancing date in the Veela room since we couldn’t have them in the real world.   
“Their magic is stronger than mine.” I said.  
“Your magic is pretty damn strong.” He said, with a wounded look on his face.  
“Not as strong as theirs.”  
“How do you know?”  
“When I’m around house elves, it’s like something inside me bows down, like my magic knows it’s met it’s match and wants to show respect.”  
“Must be the Veela part because I’ve never felt that way.”  
“I’m in touch with my instincts more than you are, maybe it’s the witch part too.”  
“Doubt it.” He replied coolly.  
“So you lived with a house elf how long? And you never asked him about his powers.”  
Draco looked like I had asked him to eat poop.  
“You mean the house elf your best buddy tricked us into setting free. No, a good house elf is seen and not heard.”  
“Dobby is amazing. He’s kind and loyal and brave.”  
“Oh so you keep in touch? He wasn’t very loyal to us was he.”  
“Well you abused him didn’t you.”   
“No, we treated him like a servant.”   
“All I’m saying Draco dear, is don’t underestimate a house elf.”  
“I’ll keep that in mind.”   
We fell silent and swayed with the music.  
“After what happened on the train, I still can’t decide if your magic is something to admire or fear.” He said.  
“I’m not sure either.” I agreed. “There’s still a lot I can’t do.”  
“What are you working on?”   
“Having better control over my fire and lightning spells. When I’m angry I just erupt and whatever I’m holding incinerates. I can’t really cast a good lightning spell yet.”  
“You mean you could really shock me if you wanted?”  
I sent electricity crackling through our clasped hands and he jerked his hand away. Overall, it was barely a sting.  
“God damn!” He said rubbing his hand on his leg.   
“Oh stop being a baby.” I teased grabbing his hand again and sending soothing sensations from my palm to his. “Whatever I do I can undo.”   
“So, what’s the point of practicing that?” He asked suspiciously.   
“A war is coming.” I said looking him dead in the eye.  
“And you want to be ready?” He asked meeting my gaze.  
“Make no mistake.” I said in a deadly whisper. “If I fight in this war, not one ounce of my magic will be bottled up.”  
“Like it is here at school?” He asked.  
“Exactly.”  
He looked away, uncomfortably. “I thought you were a goody two shoes and didn’t like evil and meanness.” He taunted.  
“I like you don’t I?”  
He cut the crap and kissed me.


	9. Betrayed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ladies and gentleman Draco Malfoy was not fucking around this time.

February 20th   
Dumbledore is gone and I’m being expelled. Last week, Umbridge had called me down to her office and told me to leave. I didn’t say a word. I turned around and walked right to Professor McGonagall’s office and told her I was being expelled by Umbridge and I didn’t know why. McGonagall lit her fire and made me a cup of tea. She told me to make myself at home and she would figure out what was going on. In hindsight, I think she knew as soon as the words were out of my mouth, how deadly serious Umbridge was. When Mcgonagall returned I knew by the look on her face it was no good.   
“Why is she doing this?” I asked.  
“Because Professor Umbridge hates part humans.” McGonagall answered. “Over the years, she has passed numerous laws and ordinances making life difficult for part humans. If it were up to Umbridge, you would all be in cells, banished, and not allowed wands.”   
Bad. Naughty. Wrong. My heart hammered in my chest. Whore. Slut. Skank.  
Thump.  
Thump.  
Thump.  
“What do I do?” I croaked.  
“I reminded Professor Umbridge that a student being part human isn’t grounds for expulsion. She said in her school it was. I reminded her a headmistresses is still bound to give all students up for expulsion a disciplinary hearing with all the teachers and school governor’s present.”  
School governors? My heart leapt. I thanked the stars for my reputation as a good student albeit a mischievous one.   
“She wanted you gone tonight. I contacted the minister and he looked extremely uncomfortable but, he told her to hold the hearing.”  
“Spineless.” I said.  
I could tell by her look she agreed. “Professor, thank you.”

My parents came in and raised hell. It did nothing. I sat outside of Umbridge’s office listening to my dad bellow. I wished Draco was sitting next me. I was suspended from classes until my hearing. During my OWL year, no less. Professor McGonagall was now actually giving me extra credit lessons. I told her I would name my first child Minerva. She said that wouldn’t be necessary. Just when I was wondering if I wanted to apply to Ilvermorny or Beauxbatons Draco came around the corner. His shoes clicked in the empty hallway and he stopped in front of me. I looked up at him and he smiled sadly. I smiled sadly back. Before either of us could say anything my parents emerged from the office. My mother’s eyes darted from me to Draco and back again. At the sight of my mother Draco’s eyes unfocused and refocused quickly. If I wasn’t so despondent I would have laughed at his reaction to a full grown part Veela.   
“Get out of here boy!” My dad barked and Draco, taken aback, scampered off down the hall.   
That actually did get a laugh out of me.  
“I’m tired of teenage boys!” My dad raged.   
“Me too.” I agreed.   
My mother wrapped her arm around my shoulders and we walked to McGonagall’s office together. 

February 27th

“Your mother.” Draco said and let out a long low whistle.  
“She’s something else huh?” I agreed.  
“And your father.” Draco’s face twisted with dislike.  
“Is also something else.” I said making it clear he was not welcome to say anything else about my father. We were cuddled up on the chaise lounge by the window. The sun was blessing us with its last rays before it set. My cheek was pressed against his bare chest. He wrapped his arms around me and gently ran his hand up and down my bare back. It felt heavenly.   
“Draco?”  
“Yes.”  
“At my hearing….Do you think your dad will vote to expel me?”  
His hand froze, he stiffened.  
He resumed the stroking of my back and said “I don’t think you have to worry about that.”   
I hugged him hard and a single tear travelled the length of my nose and dripped onto his chest.  
“So is your dad always like that?” he teased.  
“Usually.” I said smiling ear to ear thinking about my dad. “He’s like a blustery day. If he knew you as my boyfriend he’d keep you on your toes.” I teased back.  
“Am I your boyfriend?” He asked.  
“You’re something.” I said nuzzling his nose.  
“Someone you love?”   
Breathe in  
Breathe out.  
“Yes.” I said, getting on top of him. “Someone I love.”  
“But not your boyfriend?” He asked matching the rhythm of his hips to mine.   
“Not my boyfriend.” I confirmed.   
He sat up so quickly I almost fell to the floor but, he kept hold of my waist and I wrapped my legs around his hips.   
“No.” He said. “If I’m not your boyfriend, I’m done.”  
“Draco, baby, we’ve talked about this.” I said distractedly. I bounced on his lap in an attempt to get him to resume but, he was like a statue.  
Ladies and gentleman Draco Malfoy was not fucking around this time.   
“I don’t want to be done.” I said, my voice shaking.  
“You just said you love me, say I’m your boyfriend.” He kissed my left cheek, then my right.   
“You’re my boyfriend.” I allowed.   
“Finally” He sighed falling backwards on the chaise and pulling me with him.   
We laid their together, talking and laughing, until sleep took us to dreams of each other. 

 

March 6th   
Draco agreed to keep our relationship a secret just a little longer. I wanted to wait until my hearing to break the news to our friends. I alternated between insane happiness that Draco and I were going to take our relationship public and pure terror at what my friends and family would say. However, in my current predicament, Draco was far from my mind. I was sitting in between my parents in my Hogwarts uniform listening to Umbridge present her evidence to the school governors about why she has chosen to expel me.   
“Distracting to other students, disrespectful, failing, uncontrollable, promiscuous, shows sociopathic tendencies, refuses to control her unnatural brand of magic, and I seriously question if she is capable of learning magic to the level we would expect of her at Hogwarts because of her status as a half-breed. In my professional opinion, it would be kinder to Miss. --- If she no longer had the pressure on her to perform as if equal to a witch or wizard.”  
Silence followed this statement.  
“I have Miss. ---‘s school records here and according to this, aside from some minor disciplinary infractions, she is one of the highest performing students in her year.” One of the school governors said. “Would Miss. ---‘s head of house like to add anything?”  
“I certainly would.” Professor McGonagall said standing up. “The headmistress has described someone no doubt but, it is not Miss. ---. Caitlin is a free spirit and can get into mischief however, to call her uncontrollable and sociopathic is a poor description of her character. She is likeable, kind, and stands up for those who don’t have the courage to stand up for themselves. As for her capabilities as a witch, her spell work is consistently top notch not just in my class, but all her classes. If she were to be expelled, our school would lose one of its most promising young witches.”  
McGonagall sat down and my other teachers took turns singing my praises. Umbridge was getting toadier by the minute. Even Snape managed to think of something to say that helped my case:  
“She is not completely useless.” He said.   
My heart soared. Snape might just live to get that kiss after all.  
The same witch who discussed my school records called for a vote. “All in favor of expelling Miss. --- from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry raise your hand.”  
She went down the row to get each governor’s vote. So far, no one was raising their hand. The vote had to be unanimous or they would deliberate further. Lucius Malfoy was last. When the governor got to Mr. Malfoy he looked me right in the eye and did not raise his hand.  
“Miss. --- you may continue your studies at Hogwarts. The school governor’s request that only students with serious disciplinary issues and poor academic performance be brought before this council as candidates for expulsion in the future.”  
I jumped into the air and hugged my parents. My dad marched up to Snape and furiously shook his hand. My teachers were hugging me and patting me on the back. Several of the school governors complemented me on my grades and told me to keep up the good work. I felt like I could fly. Umbridge looked like she could spit fire. She left the room before the rest of us. My parents were up ahead talking to the others and I was shuffled to the back of the line. I couldn’t wait to get back to my friends and tell them the news. When I got to the door Lucius Malfoy blocked my way.   
“A funny thing happened” He began “A few months ago my son purchased a very expensive pair of emerald earrings, no doubt thinking his parents wouldn’t notice. I was so looking forward to seeing his prized possession but, I must confess, now that I see them in person I’m rather disappointed.”   
“The…these were my mother’s.” I stammered. “Thank you for your vote of confidence today.” I ran off after my parents and pushed myself in between them like a child running from the boogie man. 

 

March 13th  
Our friends would never know our greatest secret. No one would ever know the beautiful trip my soul took with Draco Malfoy. A lot happened after my hearing. Like flying to London and fighting death eaters at the Ministry of Magic, serious injuries, trauma, death, and destruction. What ended Draco and I wasn’t what happened at the ministry, it might not even have been when his dad tried to kill my friends and I, it was what happened before we even left the castle. We had been caught by Umbridge and the Inquisitorial Squad. It happened so quickly. Draco and his friends moved in to wrestle us into submission. Because of my Veela powers it’s very easy for me to get out of physical restraints. I was the last to be scooped up. I was practically dancing with Crabbe I was so good at shimmying out of his way. I was getting ready to give him a hit of the good stuff when I realized he was wearing ear plugs. I looked around and saw that all the boys were wearing ear plugs, including Draco. Crabbe grabbed me and I didn’t even fight it. My eyes were locked on Draco as he wrestled with his prisoner. “Crabbe what did I tell you! Don’t touch --- She’ll get you with her Veela magic!” Draco yelled. Crabbe instantly let go of me. 

I ignited. 

Several people screamed. Umbridge hit me with a jet of water with her wand and the pain was beyond anything I had ever felt in my life. I felt like the skin had been seared from my bones. Funny how lighting myself on fire doesn’t hurt at all but, water extinguishing the flames was torture. I lay in a heap on the floor soaking wet and gasping. Umbridge bound my hands and feet with a wave of her wand. I rolled over on my side so I was looking right at Draco. He looked at me and looked away several times. The last time he looked up his eyes were damp. I wasn’t listening to a word anyone was saying. I was crushed. My heart was broken.

I hope he’s scared. I thought. I hope he’s scared that if I get my hands free I’ll choke him. 

I just might. 

I wallowed on the floor a little longer and then pulled myself together. Was I a Veela or not? I certainly had a few more tricks up my sleeve. I closed my eyes and focused on the beating of my heart. I thought about all the little electrical signals our cells give off as they communicate with one another. I felt the buzzing and beating getting stronger, louder, faster until the current finally shot across my skin. I was soaked and the force of the conduction pushed me into a seated position. My body lurched forward and my chin almost hit my feet. The ropes around my hands and feet crumpled apart and I easily broke free. 

“Right then. Let’s go get that weapon.” I said, picking up the gist of the conversation. “Oh and If anyone even looks at me the wrong way they’re going to find out what 50,000 volts feels like.” 

No one looked at me the wrong way but, Umbridge’s wand at my back made it difficult to pull anything tricky. Thankfully we met some sweet centaurs and a Giant in the forest who took care of that toad for us. 

So, here I am, a week later. We were all still in the hospital wing. I wasn’t sure anymore if I was here because of my physical wounds or my emotional ones. I had nightmares every night. Gloom covered me like a blanket. The only people I could stand to be around were those who had been at the ministry with me. When I wasn’t having post traumatic flashbacks my thoughts would wander to Draco and his premeditated betrayal. 

He came to visit me under the guise of the common cold. He sat in the bed next to me with smoke coming out of his ears, a side effect of the Pepper up Potion Madame Pomfrey had given him. Ron was still unconscious across the room, and Harry’s curtains were drawn. We stared at each other, both unsure what to say.   
“I wish this didn’t happen to you.” He said.  
“I wish you had made a different choice.” I said.  
“What other choice did I have? Was I supposed to let you prance around the room and poison us all?”   
I rolled over on my back and looked at the ceiling.  
“We always have a choice.” I whispered.   
He squeezed my hand, and left. I closed my eyes and imagined a life where Draco and I could be together. A life where he could spend the afternoon cuddled in the hospital bed with me bringing a smile to my face instead of tears to my eyes. I awoke a long while later and when I opened my eyes I saw someone sitting at the foot of my bed who could make that dream come true, and his twin was sitting next to him. 

They had brought flowers, loads of them. They had chocolates and giggle juice and everything a person could need to heal their soul. Harry, hearing the commotion, came over and sat with us. George made a great show of getting him pillows and blankets and set Harry’s feet up on the foot of my bed. George sat next to me and leaned back against my pillows. By the time Madame Pomfrey gave them the boot I felt good, and whole, and perfect. 

April 10th   
We were in the broom closet where it all started. We were clinging to each other like we had been clinging to our relationship since the episode at the Ministry of Magic, both of us trying to find the words to say that would put things back the way they were. I rested my cheek on his chest and we embraced.   
“This is it.” I said.  
“I know.” He said.  
Neither of us let go.   
“Why does it hurt like this?” He whispered into my hair.  
“It’s hurting me too.”   
“I want you to be safe. I’m scared you won’t be safe ...out there…where he is.”  
“Draco” I said, looking into his eyes. “I know you’re not safe as long as you’re with Voldemort.”   
We fell silent and he rested his forehead against mine. We shared one last kiss. I tore myself away from him and left him standing there among the mops and buckets.


	10. Sixth Year and Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He lifted the sleeve of his robe and the Dark Mark was there, right where I was hoping it wouldn’t be.

Sixth Year

"We need to talk" said the note I sent to Draco. I knew he would know where to meet me. I had heard rumors, hear and there, that he was a Death Eater now. I had spent a lot of time over the summer with Fred and George at their joke shop. You hear things in Diagon Alley that you don’t hear at home. Draco opened the door to the broom closet and closed it quietly behind him. He didn’t look like he was in the mood. “Is it true?” I begged.  
“What do you care?” He tried to spit but, it still came out soft.  
I gently laced my fingers in his left hand.   
“Please.” I said.  
He lifted the sleeve of his robe and the Dark Mark was there, right where I was hoping it wouldn’t be. I threw my arms around his neck. He didn’t return the hug.   
“I know what’s in your soul and it’s not this.”  
“You don’t.” he said gently pushing me away from him. “You don’t know.”  
“You always have a choice, Draco.”  
“I’ve made mine.”  
I turned to go. “I won’t tell anyone.”  
“Caitlin, wait.” He grabbed my elbow. “It’s so good to see you, you’re stunning, as always.”  
“You don’t look so bad yourself kid.” I winked. Draco leaned against the wall, all his ease and swagger returned, with a smile on his face that reached to his eyes. 

Epilogue

“I have called you all hear today to expose a secret that one of us has been keeping for YEARS!” George threatened, his eyes traveling from one person to the next. We were gathered in mine and George’s backyard, a fire was going in the pit and in addition to George and myself, Harry, Ginny, Hermione, and Ron were present. Harry and Ron shifted in their seats.   
“Why do you two look so guilty we all know he’s talking about me.” I laughed.  
“This morning, I was in the kitchen, enjoying a fresh cup of tea, when a letter left open on the table caught my eye. ‘What’s this?’ I thought to myself. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined the secrets, lies, and SCANDAL that lied within.” George continued dramatically.  
“Merlin help me.” I said.  
“There will be no comments from you missy. Not until we’ve had this out.”  
I snickered into my drink.  
“Shall I read the letter?” George teased shaking out the parchment for the crowd’s pleasure.  
“Yes, we’re dying here.” Ron complained.   
George cleared his throat and read “Dear Caitlin, I heard that you and George recently wed, congratulations, you know I’ve always felt you and him were a good match. I’m writing to you after all these years, to tell you that you were right, I have met someone who has peeked into my soul and loves everything she finds there and I, love everything I find in hers. Sincerely yours, Draco Malfoy” Everyone gasped.  
“WHAT!” Hermione shrieked.   
“What is this about then?” Harry asked hotly. “I’m having trouble figuring this out.”   
“Oh wait there’s a P.S. maybe that will clear things up for you Harry.”  
George looked at me as if giving me the chance to stop him.  
“Don’t look at me like that you started this.” I said, smiling.  
“P.S. Unofficially, my fiancé says thank you for teaching me everything I know about oral.”  
Dead silence.  
“This is a joke, you’re joking.” Ron said.   
“No Ronald, I am not joking, our vivacious veela had a secret relationship with Draco Malfoy during her fifth year at Hogwarts.” George sat down and stretched his long legs out in front of him, a look of complete satisfaction on his smug face. Next to George was the empty seat we always had for Fred. It killed me every time his eyes would flicker to the chair, as if expecting Fred to be sitting there, ready to chime in with a joke of his own.   
There was silence around the bonfire. Harry broke it.  
“Well? Are you going to explain yourself?”  
“Draco and I, had an extremely sexual relationship our fifth year.” I began, smiling at the memory and the shocked looks on my friends faces. “We would meet every Monday in the Veela room. At first, we were just hooking up, but then I helped him with his singing and playing and it escalated quickly after that. Draco wanted to date but, I kept reminding him that wasn’t a possibility. Eventually, I gave in, right before my hearing. We ended things after the incident at the ministry, obviously.”   
“Were you in love with him?” Ginny asked, scrutinizing the dreamy look on my face.  
“Yes, I was.” I said leaning back in my seat with a sigh.   
“Look at you!” Ron exclaimed “You’re getting all dewy eyed over Malfoy!”   
“I can’t believe this.” Hermione said. “All the horrible things he’s said and done to us over the years.”   
I shifted in my seat. “Hermione, things were so horrible our fifth year, we were both looking for a way to escape, and we found it, in each other.”   
“What about him was so good that you can sit here and say you were in love?” She asked, still obviously irritated.  
“I can’t really say. He was different with me. He still could be snotty and mean but, he wasn’t the Malfoy we saw every day in school. He was Draco, he showed me parts of himself I don’t think he had shown anyone at that time.”  
“Don’t forget he was really good at oral.” George added.  
“I made him practice a lot.” I said, punching George in the arm.   
“Watch it you!” He said, kissing me.  
“Hermione, you really had no idea?” I asked.  
“I…thought it might have been Blaise. He was the only Slytherin in our year who we never outright battled with.”  
“Blaise was terribly handsome wasn’t he? Shame things worked out with Malfoy and I….” I lapsed into a daydream about Blaise Zabini.  
Ginny took of her sandal and threw it at me  
“Godric god damn Gryffindor Cait! You are shameless.”  
I caught her sandal and tossed it back to her snickering.  
“Ron, I’m surprised you didn’t figure it out, you were the only one who ever was suspicious of us.” I continued, Ginny having effectively brought be back to reality.   
“When?” he asked.  
“When McGonagall had Draco and I do a duet in class.”  
“Oh yea, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing that day.” He agreed.  
“The only time Ron’s ever been ahead of the curve.” Ginny teased.  
“Almost ahead of the curve.” George corrected.   
“He saved me that year.” I said quietly. “That was the year all my Veela venom flooded in, I was a mess. Without him, I would have been the good time girl of Hogwarts.”  
“You weren’t anyway?” George poked. I turned to punch him again but stopped.  
“I set myself up for that one didn’t I.” I laughed.   
“I forget, how hard it was for you then.” Hermione said.   
“I didn’t really reach out to anyone. Except George…and Fred.” I squeezed George’s hand and he squeezed back.  
“So, why didn’t you guys date, in the open?” Hermione asked.  
“We were too worried about what our friends and family would say.” I answered, smiling kindly at the friends whose reactions I feared if they knew about Draco.  
“Good, because we would have flipped.” Harry said clearly missing that he WAS flipping out.  
“Let’s all imagine that for a second shall we?” I asked, getting back into the spirit of things. “Let’s pretend I waltzed into the common room and announced I was dating Draco.” My friend’s faces looked exactly as I would expect them to look and George and I laughed. “All jokes aside, I loved Draco, and leaving him was one of the hardest things I ever had to do but, we weren’t meant to be, He was on the dark side and I wasn’t. We were fighting different wars.”  
“He really thought we should be together.” George crooned.  
“Yes, he called it. Do you guys know who he’s marrying?” I said with the air of someone who has the juiciest piece of gossip yet.  
“No” they all answered.   
“They had a full spread in the prophet, it’s Astoria Greengrass.”  
“Really?” Hermione said “She’s actually kind of…nice? Not horrid like Malfoy was anyway.”  
“The war changed all of us.” Ginny said.  
“Yea it did.” George croaked. His gaze fell on Fred’s chair and lingered there. I felt tears prick the back of my eyes. George gripped my hand and the words “whore” shown bright in the light of the fire. A horrible memory from a time when we still thought that our physical scars were worse than the emotional ones we would all come to have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end! Thank you to all who read and left kudos :)


End file.
